Cricket or Death

Vettori retires from family to spend more time with Cricket team

2010-10-03T21:17:00.005+13:00

Another cricinfo piece.While you're here, you should check out the facebook page for The Pigeon, which is a news parody site a few other writers and I are launching very soon. Seriously, it's going to be hilarious. You should really join the facebook page.

Pakistani Cricket Tours Ltd: An infomercial

2010-10-02T01:00:00.006+13:00

Sick to death of boring old cricket tours where a team just visits a foreign nation, plays a few games and promptly leaves? Tired of watching two evenly matched outfits compete tooth and nail in a series that could go either way? Do you find it dull when late night phone calls are just players saying hello to their families or when no balls are just silly old no balls?Then boy do Pakistani

Murali from Sri Lanka

2010-07-07T12:19:00.007+12:00

There are cricket retirements and there are cricket retirements. There are players who represented their countries admirably, fought hard, improved over time, won their fair share of games and then decided to call it quits. Iain O’ Brien, Brett Lee, Russell Arnold, Javagal Srinath.This is not one of those retirements. This is the kind where players perform the guard of honour, where cricket

Murali Retires

2010-07-07T02:48:00.002+12:00

I'm too depressed right now to write a tribute post. Be assured however, one is in the works. In the meantime, let's just reminisce together, first with one of his finest spells.And then of course, a highlights package of some of his exploits set to token uplifting music.

Move over Dilscoop, the reverse reverse sweep is here

2010-06-26T00:40:00.003+12:00

I'm not really sure if there is any advantage to playing this shot over say, a regular paddle sweep. But damn if I am not impressed.

Morgan is so un-KP,

2010-06-25T17:14:00.022+12:00

England aren't always known to have produced the most attractive cricketers. English cricket in the nineties was characterised by the fighters. Atherton, Gough, Giles. Men of limited talent who fought tooth and nail but weren't exactly enthralling. Then came the Vaughans and the Trescothicks, perhaps a little easier on the eye, but still falling short of capturing the fans' imagination. I guess

Why the subcontinent needs its own Ashes

2010-06-24T19:19:00.002+12:00

Another day dawns and India and Sri Lanka take the field once more to contest yet another One Day final. I want to be excited about this. It’s a fairly prestigious tournament, played by four test playing nations but more importantly all the pre-tournament hype had me thinking that this was an essential a proving ground for players on the fringes of each team to show their stuff. And it kind of is

We're back

2010-06-24T19:12:00.003+12:00

A lot's happened since we last saw each other. We've both grown in our own way, you and I. Sure, I've missed you like crazy, but it's been for the best. My silly assignments and exams are out of the way now. From now on, it'll be just the two of us. Promise.

Jayasuriya, and Sangakkara's alleged resignation

2010-05-12T18:24:00.001+12:00

Sri Lanka aren't often bunched with their subcontinent neighbours (excluding Bangladesh) when it comes to the political side of cricket. As the relative newcomer to the scene, they command less attention and seem to be surrounded by less drama. There haven't been any corruption sagas, no crazy effigy burnings and as far as I know, not a lot of death threats. But ofcourse, being from the third

Hating the Australian juggernaut

2010-05-11T18:30:00.008+12:00

I’ve made no attempts on this blog to veil my unabashed dislike of the Australian cricket team. It started when I was a kid in Sri Lanka. Watching McGrath storm down the pitch to hurl crimson-cheeked obscenities at hapless Sri Lankan batsmen, seeing Warne and Mark Taylor trying to connive their way into world domination and hearing Ian Healy sledge like the dirtiest bastard to ever play the game

Pinteresque

2010-05-09T16:10:00.004+12:00

I am sometimes reminded of playwright Harold Pinter’s famous assertion that Cricket is the greatest thing God ever invented when viewing those defining moments in cricket matches. Andrew Flintoff’s relentless 5th day spell at Lord’s last year comes to mind, as does Michael Hussey’s error-ridden, yet series transforming ton in the second test against Pakistan in January. Sachin’s double at Gwalior

Super Eights Preview

2010-05-06T13:24:00.004+12:00

No minnow upsets, no crazy scandals, all the teams that are supposed to be in the Super Eights have got there. Not the exciting start to the tournament we are used to. Nevertheless, the Super Eights promises to be a good contest. Here’s the half-assed Cricket or Death preview.Group EWest IndiesChris Gayle seems to be in good nick. I have heard stories of how when he gets going he can take the

Cricket or Sleep

2010-05-04T18:59:00.000+12:00

Living in New Zealand is generally all good. Apart from when it comes to watching cricket. First there is the country’s natural affinity to a slightly less sophisticated sport involving lots of mud, behaviour that would usually be classed as assault and copious amounts of face-to-groin contact. Cricket takes a firm backseat to rugby coverage of any form. If there is an unremarkable rugby league

Zimbabwe touch me in my happy place

2010-04-28T11:17:00.003+12:00

There are mornings when you wake up and you know the rest of the day is going to suck. There’s no food in the pantry, you’re too lazy to come up with fresh jokes, and Kate Winslet is dead, overdosed on your kitchen floor. Other days are good. The sun is shining, you feel refreshed, and you find that Zimbabwe just took Australia to school in a T20.Sure, it was just a 14-a-side warm up game and

Sachin's weakness

2010-04-19T16:13:00.003+12:00

Prior to the Mumbai vs. Bangalore game on Saturday, I came across a remarkable claim from RCB coach, Trevor Jennings. Apparently, when quizzed on what Bangalore's plans were to deal with Sachin, instead of reciting the sacred ancient mantra of bowling experts everywhere ("bowl good areas, hit the right lines and lengths early, create pressure with dot balls"), Jennings made a crass, unrefined

All aboard the preview train. First stop: SL

2010-04-17T13:22:00.004+12:00

Alright. I'm sick of writing about the IPL for now, partly because it's the same crap over and over again, but mainly because none of my favourite teams are doing very well. So I thought I'd get in early and do a team by team preview for the World slogging champs starting in two weeks. Let's kick things off with Sri Lanka.BattingThe 'Lanks will be pleased with the recent form of their two senior

Lessons I've gleaned from the IPL thus far

2010-04-14T14:23:00.002+12:00

Women are objects. Except in Rajasthan.You can be the highest run scorer in the league, but still have losses blamed on you.Playing in the IPL counts as a winning campaign strategy for budding Sri Lankan politicians. Punjab champion the cause of small breasted women everywhere. Apparently they “put the double d’s to the sword on a Wednesday night.” (cheers Danny Morrison)Gambhir’s big scandalous

IPL Captain's group therapy.

2010-04-13T21:53:00.004+12:00

A new piece went up on cricinfo tonight. Here is the slightly different (unedited) Cricket or Death version. Also, Sorry about having been so slack with blog posts lately. Will be posting much more often from today. Promise.Lalit Modi, holding a pen and clipboard is surrounded by Messrs: Kumble, Sangakkara, Ganguly, Gilchrist, Warne, Dhoni and Ghambir all reclining on comfortable sofas in a large

Mahela Mahela Mahela

2010-04-05T03:06:00.001+12:00

There have been a couple of good hundreds so far in IPL 3. I didn’t get to see Yousuf Pathan’s ton, but 100 off 30-odd balls does not make for bad reading. Then Murali Vijay’s knock yesterday was nothing short of electrifying. It was difficult to see how anyone could better that innings for the rest of the tournament. A strike rate of over 200 and getting over half your runs in sixes takes a

What the IPL needs more of

2010-04-03T16:54:00.002+13:00

There are a lot of people who hate on the Indian Premier League. At the time of writing, Cricinfo has exactly ninety two anti IPL diatribes linked directly fromt the front page. There are scores of men and women around the globe calling themselves ‘cricket fans,’ who lambast the tournament for its mercenary ambitions, its nauseating, congested format, and its rampant commercialism. These people

Taylor edges New Zealand in front

2010-03-28T22:20:00.003+13:00

'Edges' being the operative word.I don't think I've seen a batsman score a hundred before after giving the opposition three of the most straightforward chances a fielding team could hope for. Two of the opportunities that went down were regulation slip catches, made all the more beautiful because Shane Watson was the culprit both times. The other was a fairly easy chance to Johnson at mid on.

Kanye Williamson

2010-03-27T01:00:00.006+13:00

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging for the past week or so. When I started this blog, it was my goal to blog at least once a day. Unfortunately, life, history assignments and general laziness have prevented me from fulfilling my ambitions for the blog ...for the past few days at least.However, it is with a happy heart and a spring in my step that I await the second test between New Zealand and

Nothing's changed.

2010-03-21T18:23:00.004+13:00

I was away for the last two days. Haven't seen a ball of the test match since mid afternoon on the first day. I get back to this. New Zealand managed not one, but what seems like several collapses. Peter Ingram is still not very good. Ross Taylor is yet to man up and put in a good performance in a tight situation and it's upto Vettori to try and make the Aussies bat again. I hope for the sake of

Lamenting the loss of Shane Watson

2010-03-19T13:04:00.003+13:00

There are plenty of tshirts around New Zealand that shows this country's collective loathing of Australian sports teams. The classic one, for example reads: "I support two sports teams - New Zealand, and anyone playing Australia." I daresay, this anti-Australian sentiment is one that is not confined to this corner of the world (I like to call it 'cow corner' - for obvious reasons). My homeland,

A message for Jacques

2010-03-17T11:09:00.004+13:00

Carver and I both attend Auckland University where we (mainly him) have been charged with putting together a T20 cricket team for our faculty, to compete in the inter-faculty champs beginning this week. However, after going through our team list, we realised that we had too many aggressive/unstable batsmen and not enough 'nurdling anchor' types - typically to come in at 3. Given Jacques Kallis'

The IPL and the case for Angelo's existence

2010-03-16T15:06:00.002+13:00

The IPL is finally upon us. Unscantily clad cheerleaders performing behind a ten foot high wall of chicken wire - Lalit Modi's scathing figurative critique of the place of women in society. South African umpire, Rudi Koertzen addressing the Indian crowd like they are all his friends, but failing miserably because it's only been 16 years and noone's forgotten. A whole spate of awkward mobile phone

Test Predictions

2010-03-15T23:58:00.004+13:00

Seeing as Mark Greatbatch's main goal in the test series is to take Australia to 5 days, it logically follows that the result of the matches is basically a forgone conclusion.So to keep everyone interested I thought we could make some predictions around the fringes. Not quite in the same vein as betting on which ball of an over will contain a sundry or a 6, but you get my drift.Here are my

Ingram retained for tests.

2010-03-14T23:13:00.006+13:00

Sigh.At least this means that hopefully, at the end of this series, there will be one less top order batsman with a mediocre record for NZC to experiment with before they bring in some real talent. Might I suggest one Mr. Kane Williamson. Sure he's only 19, but so was Tim Southee when he first arrived on the international scene and Kane seems like way less of a dickhead. He's also coming off two

An Open Letter to Mark Greatbatch

2010-03-13T16:37:00.008+13:00

Here at Cricket or Death, we like to keep it fresh and change things up a bit. So you don't get bored of me, my good friend Carver will make a few posts every now and then. Here's Carver with his debut post. - AndrewThanks there Andrew, yes very bold and fresh here at Cricket Or Death. I've just finished watching New Zealand win the last Chappell-Hadlee ODI, which sadly was a dead rubber.

Secrets of the multiverse.

2010-03-12T19:26:00.002+13:00

Probably not many of you are aware that I am a Quantum Physicist specialising in trans-Tasman cricket phenomena. Here is some work that I have recently had published.

New Zealand go back to old ways.

2010-03-12T10:24:00.002+13:00

It was fun while it lasted I suppose. The first two ODIs had us believe that this wasn't going to be a terrible one sided series. After a bit of Chappell Hadlee fun, things kinda just went back to normal. The kiwis really went all out on the collapse this time. It wasn't a spectacular Pakistani capitulation. It was more of a long, drawn out 'bleeding-slowly-to-death' type situation. I hadn't seen

Bangladesh team has lowest average age. PCB jealous

2010-03-11T00:39:00.000+13:00

I have often been a fan of Pakistan cricket. I guess they are not a hard team to like. They've always been a side just brimming with talent. They have their own flamboyant style. And every once in a while they put in an amazing performance that seems to make everyone happy. In other words, Pakistan is like a drag queen.It's fun watching them from a distance, but you know it would be a different

Baby Got Bat

2010-03-10T17:46:00.000+13:00

I like big bats and I cannot lie,You other batters can't deny,When a dude runs in bowling medium pace, And throws a small red thing, in your face,You get sprung!By Sir Six-a-lot

A Chappell-Hadlee disgrace

2010-03-09T22:18:00.000+13:00

I am choosing to ignore the result of tonight's Chappell-Hadlee game. Over time I've come to expect certain things from the annual series between New Zealand and Australia. Tonight's match delivered none of those.There was little tension or drama, noone frantically chasing down a score of over 300, no angry headbutts, no Shane Bond magic, Brad Haddin didn't cheat, Daniel Vettori didn't even hit

Ohmigosh it's a brand new URL!

2010-03-08T18:50:00.000+13:00

That's right. Well sorta. We are now www.cricketordeath.com. None of this co.nr or blogspot business. I also worked semi hard over the last couple of days to make the blog look better.Tell your friends. They may like you more if you do.

Mitchell Johnson: Conflicted soul

2010-03-07T16:02:00.000+13:00

I have never really been that into Mitchell Johnson. I don't particularly dislike the guy. But he's an Australian fast bowler, which means he is doing something catastrophically wrong if he has even an iota of fan support outside of the Australian prison system and Tasmania. Aussie quicks are supposed to be completely and unreservedly reviled. That friends, is how the universe works. Stephen

A man transformed

2010-03-04T23:00:00.000+13:00

Around two years ago, a kid that I looked after asked me what I thought Satan would look like if he took human form. I thought about it for a while and gave a somewhat descriptive answer. "He would be of average height," I said, "maybe even a bit on the short side." "He would be pretty hairy, have dark, devious, squinty eyes and a permanent dickhead-like expression that made you instantly dslike

New Zealand piggyback on Styris performance

2010-03-03T23:52:00.000+13:00

The post title is a poor pun. I know. It's also a bit of a cheap shot. But Styris did ask the umpire for a legside wide that one time after being blatantly caught behind (and given not out). He may have brought home the bacon with his ham-handed hitting today, but he definitely deserves a little ribbing every now and then. Yeah, so what? Go ahead and cringe! I feed off it! It only makes me

Chappell-Hadlee trophy: The Preview

2010-03-02T22:43:00.000+13:00

So the one day series is quite nicely set up after the two T20s.New Zealand reminded us they hadn't lost their touch at collapsing in the first one. No real problem for the Australians following a summer in which they trounced a Pakistan outfit who dropped almost as many captains as they did catches, as well as demolishing the West Indies, who recently succumbed to eighteen overs of Zimbabwean

Bangladesh strikes again.

2010-03-01T23:30:00.000+13:00

This time in Chile. People think my recent page2 piece piece about the Bangladesh cricket team being responsible for every global disaster was just a work of fanciful satire. I wish this was the case. So do the grieving families of 700 South American people. The same day Bangladesh underperform their way to yet another disappointing loss, despite showing promise through Tamim Iqbal, an earthquake

Who will surpass Sachin?

2010-02-25T12:54:00.000+13:00

Predictions are already rolling in as to who will be the next batsman to score 200 in an ODI. Some say Sehwag, others Dilshan. I myself am inclined to believe it will be none other than New Zealand opener, Timothy Gavin McIntosh. I bet Shane Watson will try to do it, just to spite me.Also, if you haven't seen the latest page2 piece, here it is.

Collingwood's diary of exotic visitations

2010-02-24T00:22:00.000+13:00